Just a passing phase;

{Sunday, November 02, 2008 YY

illusions
facade
lies

at the end of the day, everything falls back onto just these words. Everything is nothing but a lie, an illusion to mask the reality of things, a facade to hide behind, to pretend everything is alright.
Guess what? It is not.

One day, just one day, I might not be able to pretend any longer. To go along with all these lies. One day, just one day, you might see that I'm just human, just a girl, and then you'll realise that I can't possibly anchor it together, fix it, work on it. I just can't.
I'm no superman.

"Daughter, will you persevere for me?"
"Yes, I will."

I guess its times like these when i realise the weight of it all.
Lord grant me the strength to persevere because somehow, i don't how long i can last alone.

Be my Escape;
- Riel

;`11:46 PM

{Monday, August 11, 2008 YY

and it's been what? two, three months since i last stepped in here?
June, July. ..
To sum it all up, all i can say is that God has been awesome.

Restoration, Joy, Peace.
the first half of the year has been a wild ride. one that i seemingly cannot possibly comprehend how i managed to survive. but yet, God has been faithful. he always has been.
First off, OBS was fab, surprisingly and if i could rewind time, i guess i wouldnt mind the thought of being there once again. Sure it was tiring, but it really taught me the meaning of true simplicity. When all you do may seem tiring but at the end of the day, rewarding. To stop depending on all the worldly advances, and fall back once in a while to admire and appreciate the beauty of God's creations. i loved it, i loved every bit of it.

June SP empowerment was life changing.
that's alll there is to it.
God moved, i was restored.

JULY; Mulitplication.
I miss my sunday people.
I miss my best friend a lot.
I hope to see darling MEL and JO soon.
It's not the same not seeing Abbs in service.
I dont like not being able to see you on a weekly basis.
But nothing's changed; everything will stay the same.

EOYS are coming. i truly cant wait for it to be over.
so there i go on studying. ..

God He Reigns;
- Riel

;`12:05 AM

{Sunday, May 18, 2008 YY

my blog is dead. HAH.
exam's are over. most of my results are back i guess.
And i suppose they weren't really what i would call Good but i guess i did try my best? and though i might have disappointed myself a little and though it may not have met the expectations of my parents but i guess i believe that my best is enough for God and that's all that matters to me. It's just 2 digits that will pass away, fade away. it doesnt determine my future.
and i suppose that's comforting to know.

OBS
it's here. in about less than 48 hours i will be shipped off in a bus to a mas selamat area where i will not bathe for days, get a high fever and possibly die. Okay, that's exaggerating but seriously, i feel like i'm going for so long. jungle and ariel just somehow dont mix. GEE. how i wish i didnt have to go. And then everyone or at least some people are so hyped up about it. And i don't see how exciting it would be. except sleeping in MUD, being best friends with MOZZIES and kissing the stupid SEAWATER which i am deathly afraid of for some reason or so.

And i'm just sulking. Bleah, no use being so negative about it.
It's going to be fun Ariel.
You're going to love your trainer.
It's going to be so worth it.
You're so totally going to have so much fun you'll forget about your Man U match against Chelsea.
YEAH RIGHT.

it aggravates me that i ALWAYS have to miss the final match. the crucial, most exhilarating match ever. BOO. i missed it last year, im missing it AGAIN. AGAIN. argg! Blah, this totally is crabbed.

Anyways, be optimistic about it Ariel. Be positive,
at least i'm trying to. trying really really hard. though it's not exactly working yet but soonit will work. i hope.

Oh and just for the record, i'm going to Chennai.
And just so you know, i dont have a bad impression of Chennai. When i think of Chennai i dont think of bad things. I just think of my inhibitions and then i think of God and then i think it's going to be great, at least with God it will be.
So yes, i'm going to Chennai. I'm going to India, just like you told me to.
And i hope you'll show me why.

Facing my fears;
Riel

Labels: Chennai, OBS

;`9:52 PM

{Saturday, March 22, 2008 YY

I am extremely, pathetically Upset.
And all because a certain annoying slimy green long-tailed HUGE scaly lizard ran into my room and now, i have absolutely NO IDEA where it is. I am upset.
I am extremely, pathertically Upset.
):

-

And skittles is my only form of indulgement. I love sour skittles(:
ARG. i want that stupid lizard caught. but guess what, i can't find it!
That sucks):
I am upset):

Doesnt help that i've been having the weirdest of dreams.
Why is it that they always seem to link; to always have one thing in common?
And that scares me; a little.

And I ________.
Not that you'll ever know of course.
You'll never know.

-

ARG. Thanks to the stupid Lizard it's left me upset and emoish.
GEE. How am i going to sleep tonight?!
And on a random note: I really hate being alone. :/
OH WELLS.

Lizard Fiasco;
Riel

;`11:15 PM

{Friday, March 21, 2008 YY

"This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
1 John 4:9-10

It's Good Friday today. Stuck at home, not watching Step Up Twoo but yet still reminded that even on this very day, the Lord had showed his love for me, for each and everyone here, and even when we didnt deserve it at all, he chose to give up his Son, he chose to allow Jesus to go through all the pain, the shame, the embarrassment just so that I can be reedeemed. Just because he loves me, loves us. And if this is not love, then I don't know what else it can be called. I love You Daddy. Thank you for First loving me.

-

Thank you for the cross Lord
Thank you for the price You paid
Bearing all my sin and shame
In love You came
And gave amazing grace

Thank you for this love Lord
Thank you for your nail pierced hands
Washed me in Your cleansing flow
Now all I know
Your forgiveness and embrace

Worthy is the Lamb
Seated on the throne
Crown You now with many crowns
You reign victorious
High and lifted up
Jesus Son of God
Darling of Heaven crucified
Worthy is the Lamb
Worthy is the Lamb

-
(:

Sleepover at Benn's was fun. Retarded fun. And it was great company. I miss having sleepovers and time alone with you guys, talking about almost everything. It really was an awesome time catching up(: I LOVE YOU GUYS!

Let's see, things we possibly talked about. Or maybe made fun of;
The 'PRESIDENT'!
Now, that was priceless, but of course some things are better left unsaid. It truely was funny, and pretty retarded. The highlight of the night was sleeping with one leg on the ground and no blanket at all thanks to Miss Lee who stole ALL the blanket and rolled super close to me on a SINGLE bed. How we slept through the night was a miracle. LOL! Abby Loser got the 'bed' all to herself. Ironically, there was the top bed that was left empty. Now that always seem to happen in our sleepovers.

Pictures;

Maundy Service ♥

Our Battlefield; Benn's Room(:

Just a Shut Eye.. . .yeah right.

Ooo, Mighty Beans! This Candid Shot is the awesomeest(:

We look so mutated. Just learning the DOT smile, LOL!

Darling Benavon Lee

AFRO-MAN! Heh!

MY (RED)TARDED BESTIES!(:

You paid the price;
- Riel

;`8:17 PM

{Sunday, March 16, 2008 YY

"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
Isaiah 55:9

And at the end of the day Lord, it's not my will but yours alone. And i'm going to be alright, because i am an overcomer in you. And because i know you'll always be there. To catch me when i fall, you are my shield, my strength, my fortress. And in you i abide. i love you Lord. With all my being, I love you.

Ariel, in the midst of all this, are you willing to persevere for me?
Yes Lord, i'm willing.
Will you trust me daughter.
Daddy I trust in you.

So i guess it ends here.
And i will let go.
Because that's what i know you need.
And that's the least i can do for you.

In your arms I fall;
Riel

;`10:21 PM

{Wednesday, March 12, 2008 YY

Short, short, SHORT post here.
Yepp, i changed my skin. Took me what, a couple of months to finally decide on one that i actually liked enough to change it. But yes, finally. I figured, hmms, why not something new. Yes still as black as before but, seems more classy. Tsk!

Anyways, new tag board up(: Hopefully i will actually remember the user, password and all. Today was overall quite slack. I love going over to Abby's. It's awesome fun and there's a lot of food to eat.

Skipped tuition today, did the Sabbaticals thing. Funny how when i had to answer, the strongest and most confident answer that i could put in was for the place i least wanted to go. I guess even through all the plans that i have for myself, it all wouldnt matter at the end of the day. Because no matter what, it's God's plan that prevails. Not my own but his. And now it's just letting Go and letting God.

Sometimes in order to truly experience what is means to obey, is when you let go, let go of all your fears, let go of all the selfishness, let go of all the inhibitions, and just allow God to be the one steering your wheel. Sometimes, it just takes that simple child like faith to say "Yes Lord, this is where you want me to go and therefore i will go." But sometimes it isn't as simple as it is, is it?

.
And no matter, how afraid, how scared i am. No matter how uncomfortable i am or rather i will be, Lord i know that i'm at peace because this is what is right, this is what you want for me and therefore i want it too.

So maybe it's a huge plunge into the unknown, into something i'd never think i'd ever do. But for you, i guess that's all that matters. I'm doing this for you. And only you. And only when you let go then can you really say that you have trusted. And it took me weeks to finally realise that. No more struggling; Father I will go, into the unknown i will plunge into.

Oh, and thank you for the lovely, lovely breakfast.
It tasted awesome!(:

Your plans Over Mine;
-Riel

;`11:47 PM